(UPDATE: The votes are in and the result is clear: The situation remains urgent with Hell a mere mile away. The captain has asked us to don our fire suits and assume the crash position. The red lights lead to white lights and the white lights, I'm sorry to say, lead to Hell.)
Hello fellow handbasket passengers. The most recent election is past. The witch didn't make the cut, nor did our own Joe Miller. The GOP took the U.S. House, and made gains in the Senate. North Korea is feeling neglected and is off its Ritalin, shelling a South Korean island. The war in Afghanistan is wearing on. We've now been at it as long as the Soviet Union was, and yet the Taliban linger. Bristol Palin underlined again how polarizing the Palin brand has become. Using only the art form of dance, she sowed bitter divisions in the country over her progress on "Dancing with the Stars" And while her performance left no doubt that her dancing skills equaled her abstinence skills, they seemed to inspire the same loyalty in true believers. Patti Smith won a national book award and Bristol's mother didn't. In a development that was widely hailed as good news, Chevy Chase confirmed that Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
All of which means it's time to reset the Helldometer. You can contribute your sense of how dire the state of the World is by scrolling down the page and voting in the Helldometerpoll that appears on the right side of the page. Let your voice be heard above the roar of the flames. And remember Joe, you only get one vote.
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